2. Broken heart is easy to kill

 SONG TO LISTEN WITH :) 

Lyrics:

Crying coldly I'm staring at the moon
I'm closing the book of this foolish time

The rough song on the black and white keyboard
What kind of a heart will it make drift away?

It's dystopia this fresh and tempting forbidden fruit
Eat greedily devouring it like a monster baring its fangs
Even in this crazy and filled with poison world
Beauty is the only innocence
I felt god's warmth in this mercy

Guilty cross with the pure and beloved star
Guilty blood lost in washing the blood away with the blood
Guilty tears I beg, if I would have one with granted
Would you just end my suffering?

One-winged angel sang: give me my wings again
But the hell gave him the cross, nailing it to the music
Guilty cross

I trace this chest that lost the heartbeat
Asking why am I living here
Surprised and relieved by my blooming
Am I allowed to grow for another day?

It's nightmare in this cruelty called living
Sad birthday forgetting both crime and punishment
Glorious song is just a dream I can't have
I clearly felt
The wings with wind that shouldn't have existed
The sky ready for us to fly in it

Guilty cross even in the crying out of the songs
Guilty cry can even reap out my throat
Guilty dream at least cover it with a beautiful lie
Just thinking about human's loneliness

Ah... If you say that love exist give atonement to this voice
Ah... If you say that love exist let this voice rest in peace

Please let me deliver... even this sadness I carried alone
Is there a meaning for existence? Even if I cry
With this unchanging song... this unchanging form until the last day dawns upon us
Let's promise to travel together

Guilty cross with the pure and beloved star
Guilty blood lost in washing the blood away with the blood
Guilty tears I beg, if I would have one with granted
Would you just end my suffering?

One-winged angel sang: give me my wings again
But the hell gave him the cross, nailing it to the music

That's why I keep showing my still struggling self to you
Waiting for the miracle of meeting you that must occur
Guilty Cross

Crying coldly I'm staring at the moon
I'm closing the book of this foolish time

2. Chapter

POV - Undertaker/Tania

So that's how it is when something breaks your heart.

You think you have everything. However it takes just a finger snap and your whole perfect life is absolutely ruined.

Under the gravestone of manipulations and false promises in which you so naively believed. Just as a little child believes in fairytale miracles.

Every star has its darkness. Yet what if the star turns into a black hole and the surrounding space is consumed. As it has never even existed.

And you with it. Standing there in a shock. Staring. And not being able to get what has just happened. How does it come that your whole life so suddenly turned into dust and ruins.

You find yourselves on the edge of collapsing. Your entire life seems so foreign. The reverse side of the black hole. You have got the feeling you should recognize what you see. Yet still everything seems so distant. The whole world seems like poured into impenetrable glass. You walk on it not being able to touch familiar things. You feel that you should actually be someone else. That everything should be somewhat different. Because this. This is just not right.

You are forcing your way through thoughts about the meaning of life. You are tangling yourselves within intricate webs. Until in the end, the last star in this new space also disappears.

You are becoming puppets in someone's twisted game. And you are falling. Loosing yourselves. Into an unknown darkness. Even not knowing anymore who was the first one to betray you.

The nonexistent truth is - it has been you yourselves - like the ones you are no longer. You dream of heavenly palaces made of gold, while undermining your own ground.

And the world. So selfish. So cruel. Just like that, it let's you die in the grave which you dug each other yourselves.

Such is the last goodbye. Now way to heaven. Just hell.

Hell into which is my/his duty to lead you. For in heaven are traitors and Angels are long lost.

The only Angel you can rely on is me/he. Angel of death. Undertaker.

1. To have everything - a mere emptiness in disguise

 

POV - Anelys:

You surely know the feeling. The whole world seems just like an empty shell. You alone have everything you need. Although all of that.. You have nothing.

So you live, if it can be called living. Day by day. Week by week. Months. Years. Forever. Until death.

How is the chance that a day will come and you will finally feel, realize the meaning of your life?

Fading.

And a chance that you will see life as it is?

Twisted. Nor black. Nor white. Desperate in its beauty and beautiful in its desperation.

There is no need to chase perfection. Perfect are things long gone. In the past there had also been life. And then death had always come. End had come regardless of life being or not being perfect.

You don't have to try to save this world. It lives. Saving it means just suffocating it. Killing it - you are killing yourselves.

What is the life worth then...

The meaning of life dwells in the lives of others.

If you don't understand than carry on with reading. And maybe, you will grasp the destiny of the poor soul whose own mother reproached him this very book.

Prologue Astra Vitae et Mortis: Forgotten Promises

"These stories will once kill you!" you hear behind your mother's desperate, nearly hysterical yell.

Mad you shut the door of your bedroom and with tears of anger or sorrow in your eyes you hopelessly fall into the bed.

It's sheets are tender and lure you to sit comfortably and indulge into the world which your mother warned you so strongly against.

You take a glimpse of your bedside table. A few volumes of your favourite series is lying there. You grab the book right on the top. Open it on the marked page and in a second you dive into the world of darkness and light, which is so much more dear to you than this fainting reality.

Ah, yes. This world. ... Has it ever got the chance to understand you?

Your soul is lost.

You despise it just as it despises you. All the people. So blind and ignorant to their own deeds.

Falling into ruins. Everyone cursed. By their own blames.

You resent thy own mother. Father. And every predecessor.

The land burned and buried by war. Ah, where had it's long forgotten heroes fell. Where died those who had stood up for their own ideals. Who had known what is truly right. Who had shaped this world into a dream which it deserved to be.

Furious you punch the pillow. Than again. Again. And again.

Suddenly as if some higher power has stopped you, with your hand outstretched in the air and your teeth clenched, you let out a growl.

A thought sparks in your head: Am I better than the others... Shouldn't I resent myself just as I resent them.

You look at the book series lying on the bedside table for the last time. And then, another thought suddenly born in your mind is the clearest decision.

You jump out of the bed, put on a winter coat and boots. And just as a pray trying to escape its prayer you ran out of your late home's door. Hearing your mother's voice behind, but ignoring it nevertheless.

Everything in your body screams: Run! Run!

And you are running. Across the snowy land. Through a forest. Crossing a frozen river. You scramble uphill. You're slipping on the snow. But desperately continuing forward. Feeling of the gates of hell opening everywhere around you. You continue to the point where hills change into high rocks. Steep abbysal slopes are starting to open uo in front of you. Even though, you still run despite the danger.

With your sensations clouded you don't pay any attention to your surroundings. You have a feeling that the whole world has turned into one enormous black hole which devours everything. Everything!

You are running furthermore. Then you are fallin or maybe flying. You cannot tell the difference. You are surrounded by blinding white nothingness. It seems liberating. Perhaps you are escaping the curse after all...